Murphy's laws

MURPHY'S LAWS

1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
   
2. Everything takes longer than you think.
   
3. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
   
4. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will
   cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there
   is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
   
5. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
   

Murphy's Law of the Open Road:

"When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed
at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1)
the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always
meet at the bridge."

Murphy's Technology Laws

1. You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
   
2. "Logic" is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
   
3. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the
   first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
   
4. An "expert" is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
   
5. All great discoveries are made by mistake.
   
6. Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
   
7. A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years
   make.
   
8. The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.
   
9. Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the
   book or even what book.
   
10. The primary function of the "design engineer" is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
    
11. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system
    which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
    
12. Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into
    a "Pearl Harbor File."
    
13. If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
    
14. In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled
    correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident
    at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
    
15. Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
    
16. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
    
17. When all else fails, read the instructions.
    
18. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will
    cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
    
19. Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use
    it.
    
20. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level
    of management.
    

Murphy's Love Laws

1. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
   
2. Brains * Beauty * Availability = Constant.
   
3. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how
   much you love them.
   
4. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
   
5. Every kind of action has a not-so-kind reaction.
   
6. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the
   minute they find someone else.
   
7. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave
   her with no hard feelings.
   
8. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening
   to him.
   
9. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
   
10. The world does not revolve on an axis.
    
11. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
    
12. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in
    love.
    
13. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

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